Rajinikanth jokes sell out faster than his tickets

Here are some of the Rajini one-liners from the Internet you shouldn’t miss:

Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.

Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.

Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.

Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.

Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.

Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.

Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.

Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Rajinikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Rajinikanth knows what women really want.

Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.

Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.